Barbarians and Priests

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OK, I'm going to change the format of my posts a bit. This one will be out of order for my campaign. I don't feel that gaming should be about the rolls and character sheets, but more of a social event. I love co-telling stories with my players, but I also love eating and drinking and being a glutton and cracking wise.

So last Friday, I cleaned my nerdroom, got out my gridboard and vis-a-vis pens, and prepped my food and drinks. For beers I chilled some Bell's Porter, and home brew Scottish Ale.

And nearly every time I game, I make spicy chicken wraps for my players. These are from last Friday.

There's cream cheese and jallups in there. I can give you the recepie if you want.


One time back in the 2nd edition D&D days, when the characters went to country bar and ordered venison stew; I served the players venison stew. Nom nom nom.

We also have a 30 minute prep time, where people can make updates to their char sheets, review new skills and talents, and pretty much get the smokin-n-jokin out of their systems. So during that time I showed the players one of my favorite new Internet videos.

Never argue with an ibex.


So the premise of this game was that there were six of the Emperor's battle Priests that fast roped into a dense forest, about three miles away from a small outpost castle. They have to hoof it through the rough terrain, with no map, no compass, and must assault the keep as part of a diversion, while the A-team swoops in and saves the day. So they heft their over sized battle hammers and set off in the general direction of the bad guy's castle.

Then they get sort of lost, and have to double back. Then they walk for a bit.

Then they just get flat-out lost with the ridge lines and washouts.

And they turn a 30 minute trip, into a 90 minute trip, which takes them to a chasm, with a fast moving river at the bottom, spanned by a rope/board bridge. You've seen it in 1000 movies. Indiana Jones 2 and such. I was hoping that someone would cut that bridge.

And they're ambushed by about 15 barbarians, a couple sabre-wolves, and a seven foot tall barbarian leader-guy, who is terribly mutated. And his awful mutation is manifested as an...

IBEX HEAD!

The clerics are outnumbered almost 3 to 1, and the huge burly barbarians charge the Emperor's lackeys spurred on by the war cry of their Ibex-leader.

HUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

(which I kept doing really loud throughout the battle for LOLZ. The trick is to stick out your tongue too.)
I also like to create the proper gaming mood, which usually includes lighting some candles, and me doing voices. This time for the forest battle I downloaded a soundscape which turned out really well.

The clerics kept shooting Ibex-dude with their revolvers, and when they finally brought him down, we read from the Index Terribilis to see what the official random description was.

The hit rips apart the flesh of the leg, causing blood to spray out in all directions. Even as the target tries futilely to stop the sudden flood of vital fluid, he fall to ground and dies in a spreading pool of gore. As above, but such is the agony of the target's death that his piteous screams drown out all conversation within 2D10 metres for the rest of the Round.

To which 4 nerds broke into a choir of a dying Ibex-Mutant-Barbarian.

HUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!