Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Black Friday Dungeons

Normally I avoid other people like the plague. Other people have things you don't want: Responsibilities, questions, germs, morals, opinions. I prefer just staying inside with my can of Easy Cheese and my 100% Ancient Aliens Netflix queue and let other people stop around under the burning sky orb. This goes double for those places where other people tend to congregate: the DMV, "Downtown," Grocery Stores, Malls. Yes, even with the advent of the internet, Malls still survive, and they still seethe with endless masses of humanity. And the dreaded worst day of all one could be at one of these Malls, be they 'West Gate-' or 'Strip-', is on Black Friday. They call it Black Friday because if you dare go out into the world on Black Friday, the sheer amount of forced human interaction will make it seem as if the very sun has been blotted out into an unholy eclipse, and will crush you under and endless parade of Ugg boots and flat-brimmed hats with the stickers still on them.

But this year there is a silver lining. Black Friday 2015 is when the Dungeon Master's Guide for 5th Edition D&D will be pre-released at select Game Stores! While the actual release date is December 9th, those in the know with their FLGS will be able to snatch it up early, assuming they are willing to go outdoors on the dreaded Darkest Day of Days. I, for one, will rise to this challenge, and face the bitter cold of human small-talk and make my way into the land of the Pegasi to purchase such a Noble Tome. I've been looking forward to its release ever since I cracked open the 5th Edition Players Handbook, and I will have it. I will obtain it well before the dregs of humanity get it on the 9th. And I don't even have to go to the big Mall! Ha! ...Ha ha! ...Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA!

So, the moral is: Support your local game store this Friday gamers!
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