Wednesday, January 30, 2019

No Last Jedi - An RPG rewrite of Episode VIII

  Hi there! I know its been a while. Long story short I've moved the blog over to my own VC domain so I can store and post pics and videos and stuff far more easily without google and blogger getting up in my craw about ownership. Plus it will be nice to not have the Google folks sending endless unnecessary G+ notifications and constantly pinging me with "tips" on how to get likes and shares and other busybody messages I don't really care about. But it'll post here too.

So without further ado, let's talk about my upcoming Star Wars "Elseworlds" RPG game to replace The Last Jedi movie (because, as we all know, its a terrible movie). I'm not going to explain too much why The Last Jedi is a terrible movie, because you all already know deep within your souls that its bad. It ignored ALL of the previous movie's tantalizing plot hooks, invented "Force Snapchat" to justify sending interstellar shirtless snaps between the Force kids, made Luke Skywalker the dumbest Jedi who ever lived, and broke the entire reason to have lasers in space with that "hyperspace-is-ship-go-fast" magic torpedo nonsense. Even the Snoke apologists secretly know his death was dumb and unfulfilling, deep down.

So at GaryCon this year (2019), I have decided to run a "replacement" game for the movie The Last Jedi, re-imagining how it could've gone if Disney had hired some writers who actually LIKED Star Wars to make the movie following The Force Awakens. And my GaryCon players will help me bring a NEW Last Jedi story to life, which I'm super excited about.
As I love the Dead Games Society, I have decided to run the game using my favorite Star Wars ruleset, Star Wars Saga edition. (I like FFG's mystic dice version well enough, but I think WotC's Saga edition was a thing of beauty.) So the game is under the "DGS Presents" banner at GaryCon (Thursday at 2pm).

So first we must consider, what would a movie/game that replaces The Last Jedi need to have in it?
  1. It must have a good reason Luke is in hiding. Not just because he's got baby boomer depression. He should be protecting a super duper secret that is too powerful for anyone to find out to justify his abandoning Leia and society like he has.
  2. Snoke needs to actually have a history and a purpose. That purpose should be clearly Sith-related.
  3. Rey should have a parentage that is revealed by the end of the movie. She doesn't need to be a Skywalker either. There are at least THREE other great Force-user families from the movies to link her to besides Skywalker.
  4. The Chrome Storm Trooper lady should be totally badass. And her chrome armor should be shown to be able to deflect lightsaber attacks (I mean, obviously. Why else is it chrome)?
  5. Its gotta have at least ONE of the Knights of Ren in it.
  6. And you should be able to play at least one combat with Luke Skywalker involved.

Any others I missed? I've got a plotline made up for the above already that I am super excited to run the players through, so I won't spoil it now. I WILL spoil it after GaryCon (March 7-10, 2019 in Lake Geneva, WI), so check back here for how it went after the convention and more Star Wars discussion. And if you're going to the GaryCon, sign up for the game!
Thankfully, you don't have to be an artist to love Star Wars!
Poe, Fin, C3PO and BB-8 land on Luke's Island are coming to warn R2-D2, Chewy, and Rey (who has been training with Luke for the last six months) that the Knights of Ren have returned and are laying waste to the last remaining resistance planets searching for her and Luke. Suddenly, a First Order ship that was tracking them will land and attempt to eliminate the players and take Luke prisoner.

A New Hope --> New Blog Home!

Holy smokes its been forever! Well lets not dwell on the delay too much. Long story short I've moved the blog over to my primary VC domain so I can store and post pics and videos and stuff way more easily without google and blogger getting up in my craw. So without further ado, let's go over to its new home where we can talk about running a Star Wars rpg game replacement for The Last Jedi (because, as we all know, its a terrible movie)...