Thursday, July 6, 2017

Go Go Power Rangers

The Power Rangers: A show from the 90's where high school kids find magic belt buckles that enable them to turn into ninja warrior dinobot robo-pilots. Yes, it was a strange decade, the 90's, yet I still look back on it fondly. It was back when they still made low-budget live-action sci-fi shows, and not everything sci-fi or comedy on TV had to be done with bad animation. Instead stories could still be told through the medium of bad acting. Truly the halcyon days.


Power Rangers was a cross between Saved by the Bell and some Japanese Game Show that you accidentally stumble across after midnight while watching cable. Five very American hip kids with tight-rolled jeans, oversized cut-off sweatshirts and half-undone overalls would discuss some issue at school about bullies, and then a floating head would summon them to a giant spaceship and inform them that aliens were attacking, and then the kids would morph into a Japanese Action Monster Movie. You would then watch motorcycle helmet-wearing colorful ninjas fight guys in rubber suits somewhere in a California desert for the next twenty minutes. You wouldn't see the kids outside of their ninja fighting suits and helmets again until the credits were about to roll, and whenever they spoke the helmeted ninja would move his or her arms around really flamboyantly so the viewer could tell who was supposed to be speaking. It was fairly ridiculous yet pretty fun to watch back in the day.

So this year they released a Power Rangers reboot movie, and a couple of the folks who listen to the Vorpal Podcast asked us to review it so they could hear our take. Since it was only in theaters for about a week before it went to video (which ...should've been a warning I now realize), Suzy and I decided to just rent it and do a live podcast review it immediately after watching it. Its fair to say we both were ready to Morph into rock monsters and join Rita Repulsa by the time this movie finally finished.

I'm just going to go ahead and tell you, this movie did not have nearly enough Power Rangerin' in it. Plenty of teenager angst, but very little Mighty or Morphin at all. They also make it super clear this movie was heavily sponsored by Krispy Kreme. It was like Mac and Me, except without the cute little Coke-drinking alien who makes you want to keep watching.



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