Saturday, December 26, 2015

1SMR: Bad Xmas Movies III

The Christmas movie marathon continues! This is turning out to be the longest holiday weekend ever. Here's some more one-sentence movie reviews: Xmas edition...

Elf - An abandoned child is kicked out of his adoptive sweatshop home and sent to live with his distant biological father when its determined that he can't work as quickly or as efficiently as the oppressed native workforce.
[8 bottles of spaghetti syrup out of 10]
Elvish upbringing grants Weapon Proficiency: Snowball and Resistance to Diabetes.

A Christmas Story - The classic movie that taught children everywhere the dangers of licking cold flagpoles and the value of a reliable firearm.
[9 eyes shot out of 10]
Ralphie was right to be terrified of the all-knowing and all-powerful Mall Santa Claus.

Love Actually - Sheriff Rick Grimes falls in love with his best friend's fiance and Professor Snape wants to cheat on his wife with a younger woman; in this British rom-com that's somehow considered a great date movie.
[4 washed-up rockers out of 10]
We can't save the people of Alexandria, but we can save...our Love.

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